Hi Mum, I am feeling a bit fed up at the moment, I should be happy as its my Birthday but I can't be happy because for the past 4 years something awful has happened either on the 19th(the eve of my birthday) or the 20th (the day of my birthday) firstly as you know Thelma passed away suddenly on the 19th then one year later the second worst day of my life occurred when You where taken from us on the same date 19th last year on the 20th something awful happened stopping me from having a good birthday and this year my friend and neighbour Vera passed away, what is it with these dates, I will never be able to celebrate and be truly happy loosing you for my birthday but I would just love it if Nothing Bad happened for at least the next one or two of my birthdays instead of them being so devastatingly horrible, I love you so much Mum and miss you more than anyone could ever know, I wish one of these days when I go to phone you I could hear your voice again, I need to go to bed now Mum so I will write again soon, all my love I send to you xxxxx